Christian Porn

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Christian Porn

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How to Stop Watching Porn (A Christian Perspective)

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Our stance on pornography is directly informed by our position on sex and sexuality with regards to Christianity. Depending on the circumstances, the act of intercourse can be either a defilement of the body and soul through lust and indulgence of the senses, or it can be a celebration of God-given sexuality that uplifts the bodies and spirits of both partners.

Likewise, pornography could be either degrading and sinful as it almost always is , or it could depict acts that, when viewed appropriately, could enhance the sexual and sensual relationships of believers.

Consider the Song of Solomon, a deeply sensual and erotic book of the Bible, which describes in lyrical detail the sexual and romantic relationship between a bride and bridegroom.

Their dialogue relates to spiritual matters, but relates spirituality through a loving physical relationship between husband and wife.

Yet their husbands still cheated on them, and their husbands brought home a serious and sometimes eventually will be fatal STD from their mistresses.

Same with rape victims who catch STDs and even worse when the victim is a young child. It is not punishment. It is merely the consequences of living in a broken world.

If he demands or manipulates her into doing what he wants, then it will not be healthy for them or their marriage.

I posted your comment on Facebook asking for feedback from other wives, and she responded to that post. The last time we discussed my feelings about our sex life and how I wanted her to act like she was more interested, she gave me the silent treatment for a day.

Later she apologized, but told me that the reason for the silent treatment was that I made her feel de-valued. I have not brought up the topic since.

In my head I know that the Bible says He does care, but my heart is having a hard time believing it. If it sounds like I am complaining, I am sorry, I just need somewhere to express my feelings.

God forgive me. You have to decide for yourself how you view it. The question you are asking seems to be one of specific identity- if there is no name and I can fill in the blank with the right answer, does that make it ok?

Is it ok to sleep with someone other than your spouse, as long as you blind fold them and only imagine yourself with your spouse during the act? I am not asking these questions to mock, but simply to take the initial concept and push the envelope of identity suspension and insertion by extending the principle to alternate, and in some cases, more extreme situations.

As Jay Dee said, your question is debatable depending on who you ask- the idea is acceptable within some circles and questionable in others.

Even if you conclude that identity swapping is acceptable within the confines of written erotica, the ethical slope seems a bit slippery and perhaps a bit prone to escalation of what is considered ethical porn consumption.

I appreciate the suggestion but I find it difficult to find a real application for this. I actually discussed this with some of my male and Christian friends who are fairly open about discussing topics such as sex and we concluded, unanimously, that it takes very little to get the male libido stoked.

So if one is going to take masturbation off of the table as an appropriate outlet for those ignited feelings, we all agreed that this exercise would be more frustrating and irritating than helpful.

But the effect is the same…. I realize that the underlying thought is that it begins to create a desire for, and anticipation for your spouse with whom you hope to soon be reunited but the reality is….

This is not the way to live. I can do 3 days without orgasm easily now. Now, perhaps I have a lower drive than you and your friends, who knows.

What I need is a connection to my spouse for our relationship to be strong. Honestly, I look at the smile on her face more than anything else.

That is the sexiest part, her attitude. I hope that clarifies. Maybe we can get some others to offer their perspectives. I too went through a period where twice a day was not in the lease bit unusual.

But being able to go for long periods of time without an orgasm is one thing. Only getting sex once or twice a month kind of helps one build up a tolerance for building horniness with no outlet.

But to resist masturbating when not intentionally stimulating the libido…. The former is a matter of self control and putting appropriate boundaries in place to prevent you from making the task harder than it has to already be.

The latter is tempting fate to me. Hunger is a natural drive. I digress. Think about them, how good they taste, how sweet they are on your tongue, how satisfying it is to get that sugar rush as that golden cake dissolves in your mouth…..

To me….. Why are you excluding masturbation in marriage? There is not one verse in the Bible that condemn that, which is odd since it goes in so much details in condemning some other sexual practices.

Why do married men masturbate? Apologies for replying to a months old comment, but I felt this was the best place to raise such objections.

Firstly, I do not believe anything even masturbation can be a sin unless it meets one of two criteria: 1 It defies God 2 The individual commits it believing it to be sin as Paul says in Romans As God has not denounced the act of solo masturbation itself, solo masturbation becomes sin when it is viewed as such.

And if it is not viewed as such, it becomes permissible. But then, is it beneficial? I would say that in most circumstances, no. While solo masturbation may be permissible, it is not often beneficial.

In the specific context of this discussion, however, I believe it is. This hormone has an effect that emotionally bonds you to your partner.

But, when you are viewing porn, your partner is the computer, or the actress on the screen. Ideally, you want your brain to be turned on by your spouse and only your spouse.

Masturbating to porn does bond you to the actress on the screen. But what if you are masturbating to nude photos of your spouse?

Who then are you bonding to when you orgasm? It follows that you bond to your spouse. And as you have said, bonding to your spouse is ideal.

Now of course, actually having sex with your spouse is better than merely masturbating to a photo of your spouse. But this is not always possible or practical.

Your spouse could be physically separated, or in poor physical condition that does not allow for sex, or maybe just not in the mood for sex at the time or even fasting sex?

In such cases, solo masturbation to the thoughts or images of your spouse with their knowledge and consent, of course is the best available method for bonding to your spouse sexually.

That passage was about eating or not eating meat during specific holy days. This was a matter of personal preference, and not dealing with the law or sin at all.

You cannot extrapolate from this and say then that there is no sin at all. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made.

So they are without excuse. And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children.

This was written nearly 5 years ago before I had learned about the affect of dopamine in these circumstances. So, dopamine is a hormone which does a bunch of things.

One of them is helping you to find things, physically or abstractly. If you are separated or your spouse is in a condition that you cannot meet that desire, my advice is that you should wait.

I think that sends a much stronger message of love to your spouse as well as building up self-control.

I think you misunderstand… I was not saying that there is no sin as long as you believe something to not be sin. I am saying there are two categories of sin: 1 Sin which defies God.

Murder is still a sin even if you somehow do not believe it to be, because it is defiance of God and his commandments. Likewise, some things can still be sin even if they are not listed in the Bible.

Satan still sinned in his defiance of God, even though no written law had been made yet. Adam and Eve sinned by defying what God had told them to do.

God does not judge us by outward appearances, but by the heart. When you choose to do something that you believe to be sin, what does that say about your heart… about your intent?

This is why eating meat on holy days was sin to some… because they believed it to be sin, if they had chosen to do so anyways it would have shown that they had chosen to do something even though they believed it to be evil.

Now then, which of these two categories does masturbation fall under? I do not believe it falls under the former.

I see no indication, either in the Bible or from what I know of God, that solo masturbation, when done with the right intent and right circumstances, is a defiance of God or his Word.

Like eating meat on holy days, masturbation falls outside the law and sin, and falls under the category of those things which are only sin to those who believe them to be.

And it is true that for many Christians, solo masturbation would be sin. You cannot do something you believe to be immoral, that shows intent to commit sin.

But for those Christians who accept solo masturbation as something which is not immoral, what does God see when he looks at their heart?

Absent any direct commands from God, are those Christians left to figure out that which is beneficial and that which is not beneficial?

And if they do sincerely believe that solo masturbation is beneficial, what then is their sin? It is neither a violation of the law or a wrong intent.

Now then, as for whther or not it is truly beneficial to masturbate in the context of marriage, which the knowledge and permission of your spouse for, after all, your body belongs to your spouse waiting is often admirable.

But you yourself struggled after only 12 days. There are many who are separated from their spouses for much longer than that, months or even years in some situations.

Is it beneficial for them to wait so long? Is it beneficial for them to struggle? You say that learning to control your passions is better than releasing them.

But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. But I feel that this reasoning applies to solo masturbation as well.

Which is it better for the Christian who is married? To refrain from solo masturbation with their spouse as the focus or to burn with passion and maybe risk sinning?

Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command.

And indeed, for those capable of controlling themselves, going for months without any sexual activity may be beneficial.

But that does not mean that solo masturbation should be forbidden or even discouraged. It should be, in the right contexts just like with ordinary sex , an available option for controlling your passions and preventing temptation.

I must confess I have not studied neurochemistry enough to comment much on dopamine and its behavioral effects. Dopamine is released for several different pleasurable activities, including the consumption of food.

It would be ridiculous to say that teaching your brain that food is rewarding creates separation from your spouse… likewise, teaching your brain that solo masturbation is rewarding does not necessitate separation from your spouse… indeed, when the rewarding activity is associated specifically with your spouse as in this case , I would argue it brings you closer.

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Yes, we know hormones are raging. However, God is calling us to holiness. Live an extraordinary life. Masturbation will leave you hanging every time!

It is a selfish act that pleases no one but you. God created sex to be between a man and his wife. Not a man and his girlfriend and not a man or woman with himself or herself.

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